Laugh at Liberals Archive for April, 2004
Bush lied about WMD….I mean there may be Some.
SPARTANBURG, SC (Talon News) — Likely Democratic presidential nominee John F. Kerry, who has been labeled a “flip-flopper” on a wide variety of issues, has now done so regarding the issue of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
Kerry, who in the late 1990s talked about WMDs being present in Iraq and then changed his mind once he began running for president, has been especially adamant in his criticism of President George W. Bush’s assertion that WMDs will still be found in Iraq.
“George Bush sold us on going to war with Iraq based on the threat of weapons of mass destruction. But we still haven’t found them,” Kerry said in a speech earlier this month.
He added at the time, “We were misled about weapons of mass destruction.”
In addition, former Democratic presidential candidate and Kerry supporter Howard Dean said the lack of WMDs in Iraq is a scandal for the Bush administration.
“There were no weapons of mass destruction,” the former Vermont governor told CNN recently. “This is Bushgate, which is far more serious than Watergate.”
However, speaking on MSNBC’s “Hardball with Chris Matthews” on Tuesday, Kerry decided to back away from his previous strong stance against WMDs being found.
“It appears, as they peel away the weapons of mass destruction issue — and we may yet find them,” Kerry admitted.
He continued, “Look, I want to make it clear. Who knows if a month from now, three months from now, you find some weapons? You may.”
This pronouncement by Kerry came one day after Jordan announced an al Qaeda plan to carry out an attack in Amman with WMDs from Syria using a terrorist trained in Iraq.
It also followed news that a likely WMD plant in Baghdad under the auspices of being a perfume factory suddenly exploded earlier this week when two American troops were investigating.
But in an April 5, 2004 press release posted on the Kerry campaign web site, Kerry asserts that “the President continued to mislead the public about the war in Iraq.”
Similarly, in an April 6, 2004 press release posted on the Kerry campaign web site, Kerry claims that Bush “misled the public” about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
Abortion is Wrong!…I Mean Abortion is Free-choice!
WASHINGTON (Talon News) — On the verge of this weekend’s pro-abortion march in Washington, yet another “flip-flop” on a major issue from likely Democratic presidential nominee John F. Kerry has surfaced.
The Drudge Report found that although Kerry will be attending the abortion rally today asking supporters of abortion to help him in his presidential campaign since he supports their cause, Kerry has not always been a vocal supporter of the procedure that has ended the life of millions of unborn children since the controversial U.S. Supreme Court ruling Roe v. Wade in 1973.
In an interview with the Lowell Sun in October 1972, Kerry said abortion should be limited and not used to control unwanted pregnancies.
“It’s a tragic day in the lives of everybody when abortion is looked on as an alternative to birth control or as an alternative to having a child. I think that’s wrong,” Kerry declared in the interview.
In fact, Kerry went so far as to say he is “opposed to abortion” because it makes “common sense” to do so.
He said at the time that abortion “should be the very last thing if it has to be” an option to resolve an unwanted pregnancy.
Interestingly, Kerry added that the federal government did not have any business deciding the issue of abortion since the Tenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution left that decision to the states.
“I think the question of abortion is one that should be left for the states to decide,” he commented.
A few years later in 1975, Kerry told John Mullins from The Sun that abortion was a minor issue on the political landscape.
Kerry believed it was more important to determine “how to put people back to work, how to reduce crime and how to keep institutions from breaking down.”
In a prophetic statement that sounds like it could have been uttered by a modern-day conservative, Kerry lambasted “liberals” who bring up topics that most people are not concerned with.
“‘I think liberals spend too much time pushing issues which just aren’t relevant to the mass of people, including among such issues abortion, the death penalty and amnesty,” Kerry said at the time.
On the official Kerry for president web site, his position on abortion is in direct contrast to the pro-life position he took nearly 30 years ago.
“John Kerry believes that women have the right to control their own bodies, their own lives, and their own destinies,” the Kerry web site reads. “He believes that the Constitution protects their right to choose and to make their own decisions in consultation with their doctor, their conscience, and their God.”
The ideological turnaround by Kerry suggests the influence these factions in the Democratic Party have had over his presidential campaign, as shown by his promise to only nominate judges who support abortion.
“He recently announced he will support only pro-choice judges to the Supreme Court,” the web site continues. “Kerry also believes that we should promote family planning and health plans should assure women contraceptive coverage.”
Who gets your tax dollars?
Below are the actual voting records of various Arabic/Islamic
States which are recorded in both the US State Department
and United Nations records:
Kuwait votes against the United States 67% of the time.
Qatar votes against the United States 67% of the time.
Morocco votes against the United States 70% of the time.
United Arab Emirates votes against the U. S. 70% of the time
Jordan votes against the United States 71% of the time.
Tunisia votes against the United States 71% of the time.
Saudi Arabia votes against the United States 73% of the time.
Yemen votes against the United States 74% of the time.
Algeria votes against the United States 74% of the time.
Oman votes against the United States 74% of the time.
Sudan votes against the United States 75% of the time.
Pakistan votes against the United States 75% of the time.
Libya votes against the United States 76% of the time.
Egypt votes against the United States 79% of the time.
Lebanon votes against the United States 80% of the time.
India votes against the United States 81% of the time.
Syria votes against the United States 84% of the time.
Mauritania votes against the United States 87% of the time.
US Foreign Aid to those that hate us:
Egypt, for example, after voting 79% of the time against the United States, still receives $2 billion annually in US Foreign Aid.
Jordan votes 71% against the United States and receives $192,814,000 annually in US Foreign Aid.
Pakistan votes 75% against the United States receives $6,721,000 annually in US Foreign Aid.
India votes 81% against the United States receives $143,699,000 annually.
Perhaps it is time to get out of the UN and give the tax savings back to the American workers who are having to skimp and sacrifice to pay the taxes.
You might mention it to your congressman, who knows it anyway…what a disgrace…no wonder the world has no respect for us!
IT’S TIME TO RETREAT!
It’s time to retreat!
Every day there are news reports about more deaths. Every night on TV there are photos of death and destruction. Why are we still there?
We occupied this land, which we had to take by force, but it causes us nothing but trouble. Why are we still there?
Many of our children go there and never come back.
Why are we still there?
Many of their people are uncivilized.
Why are we still there?
The place is subject to natural disasters, which we are supposed to bail them out of. Why are we still there?
There are more than 1,000 religious sects, which we do not understand. Why are we still there?
Their folkways, foods and fads are unfathomable to ordinary Americans.
Why are we still there?
We can’t even secure the borders.
Why are we still there?
They are billions of dollars in debt and it will cost billions more to rebuild, which we can’t afford.
Why are we still there?
It is becoming clear.
WE MUST PULL OUT OF CALIFORNIA!
New Bin Laden Offer
In a recent tape delivered to Arab TV channels, Bin Laden graciously offered Europe a truce if it “stops attacking Muslims.” Maybe I overlooked it, but I don’t remember him extending any such offer to Saddam Hussein after he killed quite a few Muslims. I can’t understand what bin Laden would have to gain from making his offer to the Europeans. Does he really expect the Europeans to be so spineless? How does a guy who hides in caves and can’t go out in public credit himself with the ability to make a whole continent retreat? Sounds like arrogance to me. Oh, and after killing 3000 Americans, he’s going to “punish” us.
SOMEONE TELL ANDY ROONEY TO SHUTUP!
In his latest column Andy Rooney continues his recent spate of diatriabes against the war in Iraq and George Bush. Once again he comes off as bitter, self-righteous and totally out-of-touch with America.
Rooney laments the “death and destruction” news and the “governement control” of reporting out of Iraq. I’ve got news for Andy. He needs to talk to his bosses and fellow liberals in the media. (Quick, I’ll give you 30 seconds to Google and try to find a positive story, any story about Iraq……Times Up!).
Andy longs for the days of Ernie Pyle, the soldier’s reporter, side-by-side with the grunts in the trenches, telling their stories in un-filtered reports “the way it is” from the front lines. I’ve got more news for Andy. The days of Ernie Pyle are long gone. Not because of government control, but because Ernie Pyle was from an era when American reporters were, first and foremost, Americans. Their agenda was America’s first, news second. Furthermore, I best most of the stories from the fighting men and women in Iraq would’nt quite fit the story line most major media news outlets are trying to sell; Quagmire, Vietnam…blah, blah, blah.
Rooney also said it would be an interesting experiment to ask some of our soldiers five questions. Here are his questions and, what I think would be, the responses he would get.
1. Do you think your country did the right thing sending you into Iraq?
ANSWER: “Yes sir!….I’m a professional soldier. My duty, honor and commitment is to do the job my government asks me to do.”
2. Are you doing what America set out to do to make Iraq a democracy, or have we failed so badly that we should pack up and get out before more of you are killed? ANSWER: “Pack up and leave? What kind of American are you? Packing up and leaving are what cowards and those without conviction do, not U.S. soldiers.”
3. Do the orders you get handed down from one headquarters to another, all far removed from the fighting, seem sensible, or do you think our highest command is out of touch with the reality of your situation? ANSWER: Sir, again, I’m a professional soldier and the one thing I do know is that the further up the chain of command you go, the bigger the picture gets. Wrong or right, it’s my job to follow orders.”
4. If you could have a medal or a trip home, which would you take?
ANSWER: Sure, I’d love a trip home, and as soon as my commanding officer says I can go, I will. But not until then, because right now my brothers and my country needs be here.”
5. Are you encouraged by all the talk back home about how brave you are and how everyone supports you? ANSWER: “Of course, but not as pissed off as I am when I hear some idiot like Sean Penn or Ted Kennedy bad mouth my commander-in-cheif and then say…but I support the troops. That’s just bullshit, sir. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to deliver some food, help build a school and then protect muslims from other muslims who want to kill them because America is the great satan.”
I don’t think those are the answers that Rooney was implying he would get. He goes on to say that…”treating soldiers…as brave heroes is an old civilian trick designed to keep the soldiers at it.” Really? When was the last time you said a prayer or wore a lapel pin honoring our soldiers and thought to yourself….”That should trick those idiots into fighting some more.”
Here’s more Rooney thoughts;
“But you can be sure our soldiers in Iraq are not all brave heroes gladly risking their lives for us sitting comfortably back here at home….It’s disingenuous of the rest of us to encourage them to fight this war by idolizing them…..We speak of them as if they volunteered to risk their lives to save ours, but there isn’t much voluntary about what most of them have done….we should not bestow the mantle of heroism on all of them for simply being where we sent them. Most are victims, not heroes.”
Rooney has been a journalist for so long, he is clueless as to how a regular American thinks and feels. I’ve got some final news for Andy Rooney. If he wants to know how our military thinks about what we’re doing in Iraq, he should take a look at the military ballots this November, that is if the Democrats don’t find a way to get them thrown out….and by the way Andy…Did you ever wonder about retiring?
GOLDBERG NAILS TED KENNEDY
JONAH GOLDBERG CORRECTLY POINTS OUT THAT TEDDY KENNEDY IS AIDING THE ENEMY IN THE WAR ON TERROR.
RICHARD CLARK INC.
Richard Clark will be making a lot of money off of his book, thanks to a CBS info-mercial, but now is not the time for Dick to rest on his laurels. Now is the time to invest in the future. Invest in Richard Clark Inc. A few possible ventures.
PROFESSOR OF REVISIONIST HISTORY, HARVARD. Clark could easily set up his own endowment fund to support the course of study. Can you think of someone better, more skilled at revising history? Guest speakers could include Bill Clinton, Al Gore and Mel Gibson’s father. First semester course; The American Revolution-How The Founding Fathers Screwed Up.
THE APOLOGY HOTLINE.
Clark: “Hello, Dick Clark’s Apology Hotline…How can we say we’re sorry?
Caller: “Mr. Clark, I need your help. I was watching my neighbors dog while they’re on vacation, and it ran out into the road and got hit by a car.
Clark: Don’t worry. I call you’re neighbor and apologize on behalf of Ford, for making the vehicle that killed their little dog.
Caller: Actually, I think it was a Chevrolet.
Clark: Who’s the expert here? Besides, I get the impression that the people who make these cars don’t even know what a dog is. Now two years ago I sent a memo to the highway department about erecting fences along every road and………(blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…)
TV “EXPERT” ANALYST: No, not on terrorism, on ESPN. I’d love to see this guy at a football game
Clark: Well, it appears that the Cowboys are not focused on winning. Now when Chan Gailey was the head coach, winning was the Cowboy’s number one priority.
VIAGRA SPOKESMAN: Does he not seem a little stiff to you?
Well, maybe he can just write another book. “Dick Clark’s American Grandstand”
LAL
