How Would The D-Day Invasion be Reported Today?
by Alex McRae
This piece was recently received from a Laugh At Liberals visitor and attributed to Alex McRae.
June 6, 1944. -NORMANDY- Three hundred French civilians were killed and thousands more wounded today in the first hours of America’s invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were heaviest among women and children.
Most of the French casualties were the result of the artillery fire from American ships attempting to knock out German fortifications prior to the landing of hundreds of thousands of U.S. troops. Reports from a makeshift hospital in the French town of St. Mere Eglise said the carnage was far worse than the French had anticipated and reaction against the American invasion was running high. “We are dying for no reason,” said a Frenchman speaking on condition of anonymity. “Americans can’t even shoot straight. I never thought I’d say this, but life was better under Adolph Hitler.”
The invasion also caused severe environmental damage. American troops, tanks, trucks and machinery destroyed miles of pristine shoreline and thousands of acres of ecologically sensitive wetlands. It was believed that the habitat of the spineless French crab was completely wiped out, threatening the species with extinction.
A representative of Greenpeace said his organization, which had tried to stall the invasion for over a year, was appalled at the destruction, but, not surprised. “This is just another example of how the military destroys the environment without a second thought, ” said Christine Moanmore. “And it’s all about corporate greed.”
Contacted at his Manhattan condo, a member of the French government-in-exile who abandoned Paris when Hitler invaded said the invasion was based solely on American financial interests. “Everyone knows the President Roosevelt has ties to big beer,” said Pierre LeWimp. “Once the German beer industry is conquered, Roosevelt’s beer cronies will control the world market and make a fortune.”
Administration supporters said America’s aggressive actions were based in part on the assertions of controversial scientist Albert Einstein, who sent a letter to Roosevelt speculating that the Germans were developing a secret weapon, a so-called “atomic bomb.” Such a weapon could produce casualties on a scale never seen before and cause environmental damage that could last for thousands of years.
Hitler has denied having such a weapon and international inspectors were unable to locate such weapons even after spending two long weekends in Germany. Shortly after the invasion began reports surfaced that German prisoners had been abused by Americans. Mistreatment of Jews by Germans at so- called “concentration camps” has been rumored but so far, remains unproven.
Several thousand Americans died during the first hours of the invasion and French officials are concerned that uncollected corpses pose a public health risk. “The Americans should have planned for this in advance,” they said. “It’s their mess and we don’t intend to clean it up.”
I’m glad the soldiers who fought and died so bravely on D-Day and throughout World War II did so decades ago. In the 1940s war was hell, but at least our troops didn’t have to fight the media folks back home.
zoot potatoe Says: August 7th, 2004 at 6:35 pm
June 7, 1944. In last night’s Fire Side Chat, President Franklin D. Roosevelt has assured the american people that “This Mission is Accomplished,” said Roosevelt to the millions of American Viewers that tune in for each of Roosevelt’s Radio Addresses. “Major combat operations in Europe have ended. In the battle of Normandy, the United States and the allied powers have prevailed. The Nazi’s are crippled, and all there is left to do is to restore democracy to an entire continent that is in ruins.”
Americans applauded the speech, but Republican leaders aren’t too impressed.
“Mr.President tells us that major fighting is over, while we are hundreds of miles away from Berlin. Our mission isn’t anywhere close to accomplished.”
But while that may be so, American’s are obediently agreeing with Roosevelt, just because it sounds good.
Abel Says: August 12th, 2004 at 7:09 pm
Mr. ‘zoot potatoe’,
You’re pretty desperate arn’t you? FDR said,
“Major combat operations in Europe have ended. In the battle of Normandy…”.
Yea, so? This was true. There was still alot of fighting ahead. The Bulge, Market-Garden, etc. Besides your head, what’s your point?
You said,
“Americans applauded the speech, but Republican leaders aren’t too impressed.
“Mr.President tells us that major fighting is over, while we are hundreds of miles away from Berlin. Our mission isn’t anywhere close to accomplished.””
Yea so? They’re both right. Tell me, would you be the same stick-in-the-mud during WWII like you and your ilk are today? Maybe those “Republcan leaders” weren’t too impressed with FDR’s speech, maybe they took him a little out of context but they sure didn’t actively work to sabotage our war effort. They certainly didn’t lend aid and comfort to the enemy by accusing FDR of “concocting the war in Hyde Park”, calling the CiC a liar, saying that FDR is more of a danger to world peace than Hitler, Mousollini and Hediki Tojo, calling the U.S evil and a warlike and imperialist empire thereby emboldening our enemies to fight on. No, those “Republican leaders” didn’t stoop that low did they?
Thank heavens those American’s agreed with FDR. Whether they obeyed obediantly or reluctantly or however else you may wish to spin it.
zoot potatoe Says: August 15th, 2004 at 8:36 pm
“Major combat operations in Europe have ended. In the battle of Normandy…”.
Would you say that that the only fighting in WWII only fighting was durring D-Day? would you say that the only fighting in Iraq was our trip to berlin?
This artical is entirely fictious that I posted. It is just showing how D-Day would have been reported had it been today, mucth like the first artical.
“Americans applauded the speech, but Republican leaders aren’t too impressed.”
When the speech was first made, the people loved it, but the Democrats, of course, said it was wrong, just to be against bush.
—————-
“Mr.President tells us that major fighting is over, while we are hundreds of miles away from Berlin. Our mission isn’t anywhere close to accomplished.””
Bush said that the mission was accomplished, while it was half over. The rebuilding hadn’t even started. It is a metaphor linking Bush’s job being half done and FDR’s job being half done.
THis is nothing to do with how things worked in WWII, just how things would have worked TODAY.
No, Republican leaders did not base their quotes on what Bush would say 60 years in the future. THey did not call Roosevelt a threat to world peace more so then hitler, stuff like that. but they did stoop low.
The times then were differnt then the times now. I was simply showing how stupid FDR would have looked had he said that, just how Stupid Bush looks to many for saying that the mission was accomplished over a year ago.
I dont know who’s more desperate here… me and my long ramble that counters what you said, your your long ramble that counters what I said, but i’ll say you are just for the sakes of argument.
draco Says: October 19th, 2004 at 9:18 pm
zoot, you’re so unbelieveably incompetent it’s appalling- how old are you? you still haven’t dared to tangle with me one on one yet- because you afraid that you will have to lose the ego and pride and absorb some facts. I think you’re just a little kid who is very emotional. every time you speak you make it worse for yourself. like I said, I’m still waiting for you to try and dissect anything I’ve said. I am a former liberal activist, so if you get into it with me, you’re toast, and you know it. perhaps that’s why you haven’t countered, or been able to cognitively refute anything I’ve stated. oops! bet dawson’s creek is on! guess that means you’ll have to save your childish reasoning for later, hungh? (oh, and maybe crack a dictionary or do a spell check occasionally so you at least seem like you are competent)
stephanie Says: October 20th, 2004 at 2:51 am
If Draco is so grown up, why is he ARGUING WITH A LITTLE KID?
draco Says: October 20th, 2004 at 4:03 am
I’ll debate with anyone stephers…bring it! I’ll bet you don’t last more than a few rounds with me, if you reply at all, that is. since facts are like kryptonite to a liberal I doubt you’ll check this out:
http://www.fahrenhype911.com/index.php
The first step is admitting you have a problem, the second is to admit you are powerless, etc….
draco Says: October 20th, 2004 at 5:08 am
I’ll argue with anyone steph- regardless of their label. You want some? bring it! since facts are like kryptonite to a liberal, I doubt you’ll actually check the link and do any investigating, but here is all the proof you need:
http://www.2la.org/syria/iraq-wmd.php
http://www.fahrenhype911.com/index.php
the kid’s got heart, steph, no denying that-
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Winston Churchill, Sir (1874-1965)
Maverick Says: October 20th, 2004 at 5:06 pm
Interesting comments Draco… I enjoy reading your comments… I hope you continue to post here…
Maverick Says: October 20th, 2004 at 5:08 pm
And somebody help me with this 1 but where is Zoot ??? I thought Zoot was like the all knowing lib or something ??? Why wont you go head 2 head with Draco ??? Iam just wondering…
Serbian National Says: October 20th, 2004 at 7:09 pm
I’d just like to point out the statistical anomoly that plainly states…
More educated people are more likely to vote conservative.
Cody Says: April 27th, 2005 at 9:12 pm
True, Serbian, true. But those liberals are sneaky. They’re destroying American education, making the history of America the mean-hearted settlers against peace-loving natives.
Elise Says: April 28th, 2005 at 1:36 am
Regarding the comments made back in Aug. about FDR and Republicans, etc. The Parties have switched places. The Republicans are more like the Dems were. I know before some of my uncles (and other older folk)passed away, they had changed from the Democratic party to The Republican party. They said the parties just aren’t the same as they used to be. And now, I believe it is even more that way. Lincoln was Republican and yet the last few years the descendents of the slaves he freed have felt the Democratic Party has favored them more than the Republicans.Does that make sense? Not sure I am getting my point across. Maybe someone can say it better.
rob Says: May 12th, 2005 at 5:02 pm
i always get a kick out of this stuff… especially when anybody says that the republican party is the war hawk party, i mean look back and see who was in power at the beginning of ww2, korea and vietnam… i think theyre jealous they didnt get to claim glory
Mr. Jack Says: August 25th, 2005 at 7:06 am
I know this post is old, but I must comment for those who didn’t about the absurdity of this article.
“Americans can’t even shoot straight. I never thought I’d say this, but life was better under Adolph Hitler.” I highly doubt any one in France or otherwise would say that, mostly because after France was liberated the German Martial law was lifted, and the only insurgency in France was La Resistance, which was aimed at throwing the foreign occupiers out.
As for women and children being hit by artillery fire, this is highly doubtful as costal bombardment was focused on the beaches of Normandy, which to the best of my knowledge had no civilians, only German soldiers patrolling the Atlantic Wall.
And at the height of the greatest conflict in the history of man kind, even by today’s standards, I doubt any one would care about the environment at Normandy as ecosystems all around the world were devastated by worse such as, oh I don’t know the bombs we dropped that leveled cities, or the flame throwers we used to burn threw hedges and incinerate our enemy, among other things.
As for the atomic bomb, I doubt any administration at any time would tell the press that the enemy they’re fighting is developing super weapons, such information would probably remained classified. And I doubt International Inspectors could simply go into Germany and check their weapons and research in the middle of a WAR! You’d have to be some kind of moron, even more so then Hitler already was, to let in foreign weapons inspectors during wartime. Because that’s just like saying “Hey Enemy spies, look at every thing we have and where we have it!!! Tell your commanders where it is so they can bomb it!!!!
Further more the attempts to tie in World War two to the war in Iraq are disgraceful to both conflicts. For one, Germany was undeniably aggressive as at the time we entered the war, they had conquered most of Europe, and were fighting a war on 2 fronts, and the Russians weren’t certain that their push back into Europe would last, England was still recovering from heavy losses after being thrown out of continental Europe, the possibility of them opening a front on their own was small. Germany was without a doubt a major threat to the entire world.
The U.N. on the other hand crippled Iraq after the gulf war; any attempt to invade another country would have been disastrous for Iraq. As for W.M.D’s most of the facilities capable of producing them were destroyed in the 1998 desert fox campaign. (And yes you need very specific facilities to create W.M.D’s; you can’t just make them in a cave somewhere.)
Despite what you think, the Media doesn’t just make stuff up, It may put spin on things to fit it’s specific interest like all programs of any kind do to get ratings nowa days, but they don’t just go and make things up out of the blue, that’s what The Daily Show With Jon Stewart is for.
Zach Says: August 27th, 2005 at 4:23 am
Mr. Jack, I actually agree with you on this one and yes, Mass Media does tend to put a spin on stuff…