Laugh at Liberals

“I Have A Plan”

This is a funny bit submitted by Rick San Soucie. It is Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” speech, edited and re-written for John Kerry. Buck Evinger LAL

Four long years ago, George W. Bush, in whose satanic shadow we stand, recited the Presidential Oath. This momentous occasion came as a great blight to the hopes of millions of Democrats whose majority votes had been seared in the withering flames originated in the Justices of the US Supreme Court. It came as a joyless close to end the long weeks of collusion, from Jeb to Judges. But four years later, we face the fact that all Democrats will soon be set free. I have a plan.

Four years later, the life of the Democrat is still sadly coping with the mandate of tax cuts and images of the chains at Abu Ghurayb. Four years later, there are more impoverished Democrats living in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity, caused by Enron and Haliburton, and enabled by Republicans. Four years later, the Democrat is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land.

So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition. In truth, we have come to our nation’s capital to ask for a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, in a Democratic way. It is obvious today that George Bush has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as the Democrats are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, George Bush has given the Democrats a bad check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.â€? But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. To get back these funds, I have a plan.

So we have come to collect this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism.

Democrats reject gradualism. We embrace big, bold ideas for America’s future. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of Republicanism to the sunlit path of Democratic justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of our children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quagmire in Iraq caused by Republicans to the solid rock of brotherhood, like what I had with my Swift Boat brothers in the quagmire of Vietnam. By the way, I served in Vietnam. When I volunteered for Vietnam, I had a plan. Look how far that plan has gotten me. Now I have another plan.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of our Democratic base. We will move on and do anything it takes to regain control. This sweltering summer of the Democrat’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn election for freedom and equality. Two thousand four will be the end of George W., and a beginning for JFK. Those who hope that the Democrats needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Democrats regain their majority rights. I have a plan.

The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges on November 2. But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. Excuse me while I have a drink from my bottle of water here.

But look at what happened in Florida. Look at how we were deceived by George W. to invade Iraq. Look at how France hates us. We thirst for revenge. We are not bitter. Most of you do not hate. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline, unlike our Republican opponents (those Swift Boat ads were really unbelievable). We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence, unlike our Republican opponents who are damaging their own signs and offices to make us look bad. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with the right force. The right force obviously will depend upon the results of a global test. However, we will eventually find the right force. I have a plan.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Democratic community must not lead us to distrust of terrorists, for a few of our terrorists will undoubtedly come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

I have said before, It was the wrong war, in the wrong place at the wrong time. I told George W., just before I voted to let him go to war, “don’t rush to war, take the time to build a legitimate coalition and have a plan to win the peace. He did not have a plan. I had a plan.

We could not walk alone. And when we walked, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead with a great coalition. We could not turn our backs on our allies. There are those who are asking the Democrats, “When would you be satisfied?” We can never be satisfied as long as our diplomats can find another summit to attend. We can never be satisfied as long as we can go to the United Nations. We cannot be satisfied as long as France feels there is hope. Non, non, non, we would not be satisfied until we know exactly how to wage the war, what we would find, and exactly how to win the peace. This I would have done. I had a plan.

I am not unmindful that many of my supporters have come here as a result of great trials and judgments. Some of you have come fresh from concerns about stem cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the economic storms of caused by outsourcing and staggered by the winds of pollution. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned income will be taxed.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to the arrondissements (that is French you know) in Louisiana (they speak French there you know), go back to the precincts of our northern cities, such as the city of that great Mayor, Richard Daley, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be controlled. Remember what my wonderful wife Teresa has said, “Vote Often and Vote Well�. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I always have a plan. It is a plan deeply rooted in the American Democratic dream.

I have a plan that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, Democrats more so than others.” I have a plan that one day on the red hills of Georgia the former President, Jimmy Carter, and the sons of former terrorists will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a plan that one day even the state of Florida, run by a Republican, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice, returning to its Democratic heritage. I have a plan that my children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of my orange skin but by the content of my character. (By the way, I have released all my Vietnam records.) I have a plan today.

I have a plan that one day the state of Texas, whose ex-governor’s lips are always mangling his words, will be transformed into a situation where little Democratic boys and girls will be able to join hands with little ex-Republican boys and girls and walk together as Democratic sisters and brothers. I have a plan today.

I have a plan that one day every Democratic initiative shall be enacted, every person who votes Democratic shall have healthcare, the rich Republicans shall be taxed, and the crooked executives from Enron and Halliburton will be jailed, and the glory of the Media shall be revealed, and all reporters shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith with which I hope to report to duty in Washington, as your 44th President.

With this faith we will be able to carve out our share of the pie. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to Washington together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be in power one day.

This will be the day when all of our Democrats will be able to sing with a new wording, “My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, let liberalism ring.” And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let liberalism ring from the Senators from Massachusetts. Let liberalism ring from the mighty corridors of New Haven. Let liberalism ring from the union workers in Pennsylvania! Let liberalism ring from the snowcapped ski slopes of Aspen Colorado! Let liberalism ring from Hollywood, California! But not only that; Let liberalism ring from Plains, Georgia! Let liberalism ring from Hope, Arkansas! Let liberalism ring from every chateau and every mansion of Massachusetts. From every mainstream media, let liberalism ring.

When we let liberalism ring, when we let it spread entitlements to every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, men and women, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants, Catholics and Muslims, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Democratic spiritual, “Power at last! Power at last! thank God Almighty, we have power at last!”

Transcribed by Jim Hunter