MEMO TO DEMS: NEED NEW TALKING POINTS
Dear Democrats,
As you know, the Department of Labor figures released last week show that well over 300,000 jobs were created in March and that the net jobs created by the Bush administration is over 800,000, and counting. This renders the “jobless recovery” talking point moot and we must now begin our search for a new stunningly innaccurate assertion that will go unchallenged by our friends in the media.(Except Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and the Wall Street Journal)
Here is a list of talking points that were brainstormed at a recent meeting and responses about each from senior party officials.
GEORGE BUSH IS A LIAR!
While this is not a talking point per say, it is an overall theme that we can use to guide us. Remember, no matter what he’s talking about George Bush is a liar.(Remember when he told us that the war on terror would be long and we would all have to be patient…Oh, wait, that was true….Or when he said he would go to the UN….Oh wait, he did.)
GEORGE BUSH HATES DOGS!
This could win us some key votes in swing states where dog lovers represent a large segment of the population. Variations of this theme are; “George Bush is blind to the needs of K-9′s”, “George Bush is serving the special interests of dog haters.” and our personal favorite, “George Bush is killing our dogs.”
GEORGE BUSH ACTUALLY KILLED A PERSON WHILD DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE! This could really score some big points but there are some drawbacks. #1. We need to actually find a victim and #2 Teddy Kennedy is not real keen on bringing up the whole, “somebody died because you were driving” issue.
GEORGE BUSH USES ALL NATURAL MALE ENHANCEMENT. We’re not sure if this will help us win any critical votes, but if we keep saying it over and over, as though it were true, it may force Bush to drop his pants in front of a national audience. At the same time it’s important to create the image of a naturally virile and “enhanced” John Kerry to gain a favorable comparison. It is reccomended that candidate Kerry stick a pickle in his pocket before making a public appearance.
GEORGE BUSH IS ACTUALLY AN ALIEN ROBOT CYBORG? This statement is virtually impossible to defend against. Even if Bush offers his own DNA as proof, we can spin that by saying “of course his DNA passes scrutiny, because the aliens used the real George Bush’s DNA to create the robot cyborg.”
Please elaborate on any of these talking points as you see fit. Remember, if we all say it enough, we can all pretend it’s true.
Terry McCauliff
DNC
zack Says: April 6th, 2004 at 9:45 pm
How ’bout…Bush KNEW about ice cream and fast food being fatening but did nothing about it?!! And..wait, he knew that smoking would cause cancer but said nothing and let millions of Americans die! Hey, this is fun!
John Bolduc Says: July 8th, 2004 at 2:40 pm
George Bush is a liar; here as just a few of his blatant lies:
“I’m a uniter, not a divider.”
“I’m the environmental president.”
“I’m the education president.”
“Saddam has weapons of mass destruction.”
“There is a link between Al-Qaeda, 9/11, and Saddam Hussein.”
The idiocy of you right-wingers who continue to believe this man who has lied to all of us continually for four years is just phenomenal! Not only do you continue to propogate his lies, now you’re telling some of your own. Net jobs created of 800,000 and counting! Yeah, right. I’ll admit that somewhere around 1.2 million new jobs have been created within the past year, but that pales against the nearly 3,000,000 jobs which were lost in the three years prior! Then there’s the matter of the administration trying to reclassify burger-flipping jobs as manufacturing, so they could then lie and say that that segment of the economy is also improving.
Anonymous Says: September 21st, 2004 at 2:39 pm
Okay, so MAYBE Bush isn’t a liar? Too bad, if he isn’t a liar, then the MDs writing in Atlantic Monthly must be right: Bush has developed presenile dementia. Look it up, Conservatives, unless it makes you feel too (gasp!) intellekshul.
Bruce Bendinger Says: September 24th, 2004 at 11:34 pm
Would anyone like to see the videos of George Bush from 10 years ago – it is startling how we have become used to his fumbling. 10 years ago he was quick and articulate – like the Harvard MBA that he is. Makes you think. What happened?
zoot potatoe Says: September 24th, 2004 at 11:52 pm
stupid people like listening to speeches that sound like they are being from a stupid person like themselves…
and durring his first year as governor, texas wasn’t as complicated as all of USA…
I dont know, i want to know where you found 10 year old tapes of BUsh talking, though…
Bruce Bendinger Says: October 7th, 2004 at 4:51 am
George Bush Ten Years Ago vs. George Bush Today – anybody want to watch the tapes? Ten Years ago, George Bush was as good as Cheney was last night. e-mail me and I’ll send you a QuickTime video. Watch if you dare. copywork@aol.com
bonniem Says: October 11th, 2004 at 2:01 am
George Bush is a real person. He is not a person who puts on airs, or tells you what he thinks you want to hear. Like him or not – you know where he stands. I almost wish Kerry would win so that we can say “I told you so” to the Dems in a few months. I said ALMOST. Not quite that anxious to say I told you so.
bonniem Says: October 11th, 2004 at 2:02 am
I have some very good friends who are Dems. Relatives also. But they are not voting for Kerry. They just vote the party regardless of who is on the ticket. Very Sad! But ya just gotta love ‘em!