Laugh at Liberals

STOP TOUCHING ME!

A little Too Touchy-Feely!

Long-faced guy, as some refer to him, finally found somebody to stand at the podium and give him an adoring look.

Heaven knows Teresa was never going to do it. Her attention rarely seems to light on her husband when she’s at a microphone with him.

It’s sort of mesmerizing, really. She’s unlike any other political wife I’ve ever seen - unscripted and ready to do as she likes, in her intriguing, world-weary way, even as her second husband introduced his running mate at her adored first husband’s 88-acre, $3.7 million “farm” in suburban Pittsburgh. The white-columned colonial mansion and swimming pool were out of sight and bales of hay strategically placed to give a populist touch.

She doesn’t gaze like Nancy or glare like Lee Hart or look appraisingly at her husband like Elizabeth Edwards. She doesn’t always seem to notice he’s there. When Mr. Kerry moves in for a nuzzle or a kiss, she sometimes makes a
little face.

She’s easily distracted, waving and mouthing “Hello” at the audience and languidly arranging her hair and the red-and-blue “John Kerry for President” scarves she designed.

She siphons attention from a husband who has a hard enough time getting it. Yesterday, she distracted the audience when she seemed to be trying to get young Jack Edwards to stop sucking his thumb. Sometimes she’ll laugh and smile in inappropriate places - she once chuckled while her husband
talked about curbing tax breaks for the rich.

Teresa has the air, as Chris Matthews noted, of an old-fashioned European movie star. She projects a quality like Marlene Dietrich or Jeanne Moreau, a sultry touch-me-and-you-die look with an accent to match: a rare political perfume of I don’t give a hoot, I’m worth a billion dollars and you’re not and he’s not and the Bushes are not; of I have four mansions and he doesn’t; of I’m so confident I can admit to using Botox and I can wear Chanel while my husband complains about manufacturing jobs’ going overseas.

Her detachment seems all the more appealing now that John Kerry can’t stop patting and grabbing his new pup, John Edwards. Mr. Edwards awkwardly reciprocates, sliding his arm around the big guy’s torso.

(But nothing was as painful as watching Mr. Kerry determinedly trying to cavort on the farm’s lawn with the adorable little Jack.)

The Bush officials have nicknamed Mr. Edwards “The Breck Girl” and it is already getting under the Boy King’s thin skin.