RICO SUAVE SPEAKS BEFORE HE THINKS
By Russ Vaughn
The last poem I posted drew a comment from Rico Suave, who said I probably spent my time in Vietnam behind a desk writing crappy poems. Actually, I spent my time running crappy ground patrols in an Airborne infantry unit and eating crappy rations. I waited forty years to start writing crappy poems.
Hey Rico, do you have the Combat Infantryman’s Badge?
The Gang That Won’t Shoot Straight
It began when ol’ Dubya gave Al Gore the boot,
Those gun-hating Dems really started to shoot.
Their weapons of choice though leave much to desire
For they’re usually off-target and so often misfire.
In his blustering barrages, as everyone knows,
Al Gore is most likely to blow off his own nose.
And in hitting his targets, Teddy’s chances are slimmer
He’s no better at bombast than he was as a swimmer.
John Kerry took aim at Bush’s war in Iraq
But salvoes from Swiftees left him smoking black.
Daschle went to Dakota with all barrels loaded;
When the smoke finally cleared, he had clearly imploded.
They were gunning for George, but without enough practice
And ended up full of holes, their butts full of cactus.
That dimwitted cowboy turned out muy mal
Blew the Libs clean away at their O.K. Corral
Howard Dean, more than most, embodies the phrase,
“Shoot yourself in the foot,” yet may see better days.
If DNC chiefs decide the Party needs Deaning,
Shooting yourself in the foot will have Party-wide meaning.
Senator Boxer shot holes in her own reputation,
Taking potshots at Condi before the whole nation.
We can’t wait for the chance to see Nancy Pelosi,
Take aim at ol’ George: “BAM!” there goes her toesy.
We’ll not tolerate lying, fumes Senator Dayton,
A lightweight compared to the lady he’s baitin.’
But he shoots from the lip and quite clearly he misses,
While eighty-five colleagues hand out Condi kisses.
This “Gang that won’t shoot straight,” is really no puzzle,
Did you ever see a Lib knew his butt from his muzzle?
Have you fathomed the lesson that runs through this poem?
All guns should have locks if there are Libs in the home.
Russ Vaughn
Rico Suave Says: February 19th, 2005 at 10:37 am
I’m glad to learn that you’re not a chickenhawk after all, Russ. I just wish that Dubya had served in Vietnam and ended up in Arlington National Cemetery instead of the White House.
Dave Says: April 1st, 2005 at 11:42 pm
That’s nice Rico. So how come when a conservative or someone of a conservative bent says something even slightly mean or that could be sopnstrued as such, you liberal wackjobs scream and holler about us bening meanspiriuted and racist and sexist and whatever. But it seems that it is considered OK for liberals to say how they Bush were dead, would die etc and no one has a problem with that? Is it REALLY OK in your mind to wish ill of someone like that, or to wish them DEAD??! How can you even stoop so low as to say you wish the President had died in Vietnam, when you people are constantly harping aout how many people actually DID die there, and in Iraq and everywhere else? Talk about mean spirited and just plain rude…!!
Bonniem Says: April 2nd, 2005 at 8:31 pm
Rico, you are more than rude! You are just plain childish! Please, if you want to be taken serious, at least act as an adult. Obviously, & thankfully, not everyone in America agrees with you. So, your candidate didn’t get into office. With people such as you seem to be, backing him, is there little wonder.
Red King Says: March 21st, 2006 at 6:01 pm
Rico Suave
You are a dieing breed, your out numbered in these comments so far 3 to 1. I REPEAT: RESPECT THESE SOLIDERS! and I bet that you didn’t have the guts to serve in the military, Rico Suave!