Laugh at Liberals

Laugh at Liberals Archive for October, 2006

An Open Letter From Osama

This was written by Mark Goldblatt and is available online at http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=MGNmYzA5NTgyNWYxNGI3N2I3NWI4ODgwMDYyYzg5N2E=

Osama Weighs In
The October surprise that’s not really any news, just a wake-up call.
By Mark Goldblatt

In the name of Allah, the merciful, the compassionate, from the servant of God, Osama Bin Laden, to the people of the United States who twice elected the tyrant George W. Bush as their president:

Wassuuuuuuuuuuuuup?

Well, baseball season is over. People think I don’t care about sports, but that’s just how the Zionist media portray me. Like I’m Mr. Holier Than Thou, Mr. Doom and Gloom. Hey, I like to kick back as much as the next sheikh. So my question to you is: Why don’t the Yankees trade A-Rod? I mean, the guy just doesn’t hit in the playoffs. I’m no expert, but I’m just saying, at a certain point you’ve got to cut your losses and face the fact that he’s not taking you where you want to go.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you’re going nowhere in this world unless you know when to cut your losses. Which leads me to the war in Iraq. By now, all sane Americans realize that the war is lost. Your own Democratic party admits it! The crusade launched by the terrorist Bush has been defeated, thanks be to God. Your soldiers are dying for no reason. Saddam never had WMDs! Trust me, I speak from experience. Ten years ago, I sent envoys to cut a deal with him. I mean, I didn’t want to cut a deal with him. Sure, he jumped on the jihadi bandwagon, but in his heart of hearts he was always a cash-and-carry guy; plus, he’s a couple of minutes short of an hourglass, if you know what I mean. Still, I figure he’s already gassed the Kurds and the Shiites, he’s got U.N. weapons inspectors running from sand dune to sand dune like Benny Hill characters, he’s got Scott Ritter looking up a camel’s butt, so I’m thinking he must have a few leftover WMDs, right? Anyway, my guys hooked up with his guys, and we had an arrangement. Very preliminary, you know, just laying the groundwork — we promised we wouldn’t work against the Iraqi government, and we might even work together down the road on weapons development. Except then it turns out, he’s got nothing. Not even a freaking stink bomb! !Nada y pues nada! What a let down!

Granted, after Zarqawi was wounded fighting the infidels in Afghanistan, Saddam stepped to the plate and let him recuperate in Baghdad. Granted, he trained a few thousand mujahedeen in camps throughout Iraq. Granted, he doled out $25,000 a hit to the families of Palestinian suicide bombers. I’ll give him his due. But by and large, Saddam was always bad news on a stick.

You think I wanted a war in Iraq? No way, Jose! I was perfectly happy with the way things were going. You know, I knock down a couple of your skyscrapers, you topple the Taliban. Shot for shot. I mean, that’s only fair. By rights, it was my move again — ooh, I was cooking up a doozey! But then the bloodthirsty mongrel Bush decides to take out Saddam.

What sense does that make?

Now, suddenly, I’ve got to drop what I’m doing and send my first stringers into Iraq. Hey, you think IEDs grow on trees? And don’t get me started on the price of car bombs. You’ve got explosives to buy, bomb makers to pay, vehicles to acquire — you know the insurance rates on rentals in Fallujah? The cheapest part of the entire operation is the martyr. Even so, you know how many martyrs blow themselves up for every one we actually get on the road? Manpower’s never the problem though. We could run the entire shebang with just Palestinians for ten years.

The point is, every dollar I have to spend in Iraq is a dollar I can’t spend . . . well, never mind. The point is that Iraq is lose-lose. You want out. I want out. But Bush, the pharaoh of this age, wants to “stay the course.” Is that an answer? Stay the course. Stay the course. C’mon, who writes his material? I hear Democratic members of Congress mocking him, I see protesters in the street calling him a war criminal, I read the New York Times, and I think to myself that sanity might at last prevail in the United States.

Americans have no idea how much is at stake in next week’s election. On one level, it’s true, nothing whatsoever is at stake because democratic government is still the rule of man over man, which is always the way of oppression, since rule rightfully belongs to Allah, to whom all praise is due, whose holy law is the only source of genuine equality for all mankind.

But that’s just theology. Let’s talk practical politics. On that level, next week’s election is indeed paramount because you, the American people, are responsible for the leaders you elect, and therefore also responsible for their decisions. You think I’m such a bad guy, a so-called “evil doer,” just because I kill innocent civilians. But is any civilian truly innocent when, as you always remind us, the American people are free to choose their own leaders? You decide who calls the shots. So I say it is you, the American people, who permit immoral acts of fornication, homosexuality, intoxicants, gambling and usury! It is you who did not sign the Kyoto Treaty as you continue to destroy nature with your industrial waste! It is you who support the Jewish oppression of Muslims in Palestine, the Indian oppression of Muslims in Kashmir, and the Russian oppression of Muslims in Chechnya. It is you who send your soldiers to oppress us around the world. You send them to Muslim lands in body armor. We’ll send them back to you in body bags.

But I digress.

Look, I don’t want to be the heavy all the time. But you elected the Zionist lapdog Bush, so what choice do I have? He’s going around now saying that the Democrats won’t do a good job protecting the American people, but I say the Democrats are the party of real national security. The Democrats understand that the right way to fight terrorism isn’t by eavesdropping on my guys’ phone calls or watching my guys’ bank accounts or locking up my guys up at Gitmo. None of it works, but, more importantly, that’s not the American way! The Democrats will fight the war on terror without all the hush-hush spying. They won’t trespass on the Bill of Rights. Bush, the liar, says the Democrats are soft on national defense, but their leaders have already pledged to “eliminate” me. What could be clearer? I sure wouldn’t want to be in my shoes if the Democrats take over Congress.

Above all, however, with Democrats in control of Congress, we can finally start discussing the i-word. You know what I mean! I hear you whispering about it, whether it’s on the table or off the table, but really you’ve got to impeach Bush! I’m telling you, that guy’s just plain cuckoo!

— Mark Goldblatt is a writer in New York.

Just Let Them Talk

In this video clip John Kerry tells college students that only stupid soldiers go to Iraq. If we give them an opportunity to speak, they’ll win the election for us!just

Why Missouri Must Vote No On Fox, McCaskill & Stem Cells

Jill Stanek has written a fantastic disection of the Missouri Stem Cell Initiative and how it is deftly written to allow exactly what it claims to prevent. This article is available at WorldNetDaily.com and through her blog, Pro-Life Pulse. I will quote from it and then let you see the entire, unedited text of the actual amendment.

Here is the first lie, designed to trick people opposed to human cloning into votiing for this amendment.
“No person may clone or attempt to clone a human being.”
In actuality, Amendment Two would force cloning on Missourians. The people who wrote this amendment knew that the vast majority of Missourians would vote against human cloning so they simply changed the definition of cloning to say a clone isn’t a clone unless its specifically implanted in a mother’s uterus. While the amendment calls for a ban on “cloning” it says “somatic cell nuclear transfer” is okay. Somatic cell nuclear transfer is cloning. It’s cloning outside the uterus.

Here is lie number two.
“No human blastocyst may be produced by fertilization solely for the purpose of stem cell research.”
That sounds like this amendment would absolutely prevent the creation of embryos for use in stem cell research, right. The problem is, another part of the amendment authorizes researchers to “purchase embryos” from in vitro fertilization clinics, which can get embryos any way they want. These clinics will pay big bucks for eggs and they already tons of money advertising that they will pay college girls for donating eggs.
Lie number three.
No person may, for valuable consideration, purchase or sell human blastocysts or eggs for stem cell research or stem cell therapies or cures.”
That sounds like you can’t sell an embryo or an egg for the purpose of stem cell research, right. WRONG! There is a loophole in the amendment that lets people and businesses get “reimbursements for reasonable costs” for “dontating” embryos and eggs which includes, processing, disposal, preservation, quality control, storage, transfer … and lost wages to the donor.

This amendment was written to deceive people into voting FOR something that they are against. BUT WAIT, THERE IS MORE!

This is a constitutional amendment. According to one analysis it will alter or negate at least 45 other constitutional provisions. It also paves the way for tax payer funding of stem cell research with NO OVERSIGHT.

This amendment will take your tax dollars to pay for research and let the researchers keep any patents produced for themselves.

The worst thing is, this amendment to the constituion forbids legislators from overturning it and from using any means of withholding funding from researchers, clinics, donors, ANYBODY associated with stem cell research.

Go here to read the amendment yourself.

Why Republicans Win in November: The Economy Stupid!

I love the football analogy Rush Limbaugh has been using about Democrats recently, saying they are “spiking the ball at the 10″ celebrating victory, but have yet to actually score the touchdown.

One of the reasons Democrats have not won yet is the economy. Bush and the RNC are just now hammering the message about the economy and all the news is good.

Here are the facts.

The U.S. economy has grown 3.5% over the last four quarters. That is the fast growth of any nation in the entire industrialized world.

Productivity has expanded at 2.5% over the same period of time, well ahead of the productivity in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s.

The economy has created 1.8 million new jobs over the past year and 6.6 million jobs since August 2003. That is more jobs than were created in Japan and the European Union combined during this period. 

The current unemployment rate of 4.6 percent is below the average for each of the past four decades.

By the way, the Bush tax cuts don’t work and should be repealed.

Real wages have increased by 2.2 percent over the past 12 months, faster than the average rate of the 1990s. It would have been higher except for higher energy costs.

Real after-tax per capita personal income increased by $2,660 since Bush took office in 2001.

By the way, Bush hates the middle class and only helps out his rich friends.

The Democrats and a willing media are doing their best to paint a picture of doom and gloom.  They already talking about tax increases after they win.  Despite, war, despite hurricanes, this economy is booming and the rising tide is lifting all boats.

The stock market is at it’s highester…EVER!…THAT’S….EVER!

The deficit has been cut twice as fast as predicted.

The Democrats look at all this and say it’s got to be fixed.  The more this message gets out, the more people will start to reconsider voting Democrat just for the sake of change. 

This economy scares Democrats in this election.  The more people start to realize that things are looking pretty good, the less likely they are to want change. I think this November could be the death of the Democratic party as we know it. More on that in the next post.

Be Careful of Throwing Stones

The Foley October Surprise launched by Democrat operatives and a willing media has pretty much run its course, but now that Pandora’s box has opened (no sexual inuendo intended), the Democrats have their own Foley.

Senator George Allen, Republican from Virginia has issued a press release Thursday that exposes some pretty raunchy sex scenes from fictional books written by his democratic opponent for the Virginia Senate, Jim Webb.

Here are some excerpts as published on Drudgereport.com;  
 – Lost Soldiers: “A shirtless man walked toward them along a mud pathway. His muscles were young and hard, but his face was devastated with wrinkles. His eyes were so red that they appeared to be burned by fire. A naked boy ran happily toward him from a little plot of dirt. The man grabbed his young son in his arms, turned him upside down, and put the boy’s penis in his mouth.”

Bantam Books, NY, 1st Edition, 2001, (hard cover), page 333.
Quote is from para. 10,.Chap. 34.– Something to Die For: “Fogarty . . . watch[ed] a naked young stripper do the splits over a banana. She stood back up, her face smiling proudly and her round breasts glistening from a spotlight in the dim bar, and left the banana on the bar, cut in four equal sections by the muscles of her vagina.”

William Morrow and Company, Inc., NY 1991, 1st Ed. (hardcover), p. 36.
Avon Books, New York, 1992 (Mass-Market paperback edition), p. 35
Quote is from para. 29, Chap. 2 “The South China Sea,”, Section 2 – Something to Die For: “We’re on our way to becoming the world’s recreational center, a nation [USA] not to be taken seriously. Where are we still the undisputed leader? Music. Movies. Fast food. Drugs. . . . the billboards fifty years from now as you come over the bridge and stop at the tollbooths outside Manhattan: A smiling beautiful naked woman, and the sign saying AMERICAN ASS IS OUR MOST IMPORTANT PRODUCT.”

William Morrow and Company, Inc., NY 1991, 1st Ed. (hardcover), p. 199.
Avon Books New York, 1992 (Mass-Market paperback edition), p. 237
Quote is from para. 38, Chap. 13, Part 1, (five paras before Part 2).I am not personally offended by these writings, but I can see where some people would be.  However, the point is this, Lets see how upset the Democratic party gets about this.  Are they going to demand Webb leave the race?  I think we all know the answer. This is the same party and same liberals who rushed to defend a man, who as a sitting President, used the presence of his office to seduce a young, gullible intern into giving him sexual favors in oval office. I bet Mark Foley thought he had it made.