Sheryl Crow revises toilet paper limit.
After extensive research, Sheryl Crow has decided to revise her previous recommendation that Americans only use one square of toilet paper per day.
“I’ve decided that one-square per bathroom visit is inadequate for many Americans. I’ve tripled the previous suggestion to three squares. This does not take away from the fact that while Americans only make up 5% of the world’s population, they use 40% of the world’s toilet paper.”
Sheryl Crow contracted a research firm to investigate the feasibility of her one-square plan. Thirty-five test subjects were chosen at random, given different amounts of toilet paper, and locked in an observation chamber for one month. People received different diets representative of typical American cuisine.
“We found that while one square was adequate for some, many needed more,” said public relations manager Doris Hurtada. Apparently, Crow’s previous research didn’t take into account Southern food choices. “Those subsisting primarily on Slim Jims and fried chicken simply could not maintain an adequate level of hygiene with one square,” said head researcher Phillip Sexton.
Those who fared worst were the subjects given placebo toilet paper.
A lot of it is technique.
Bob Says: June 17th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Hat’s off to the Hagerstown (Md.) Suns, a single-A affiliate of the Washington Nationals Major League Baseball Club!
According to a blurb on the team’s web site, Suns team officials banned singer Sheryl Crow from attending their game June 16 due to anti-toilet paper comments she made earlier this year. The ban coincides with the team’s celebration of the 150th anniversary of the invention of toilet paper.
Confused? Read the April 23 post at Bob McCarty Writes™ to learn more about the toilet paper-related comments that have flushed Crow’s popularity among millions of proud, toilet paper-appreciating Americans nationwide.
WhyNotObama? Says: June 18th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
this is a useless blog
nutslikebush Says: June 29th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Quote of the day from Tom Burka (Opinions you should have)
“It’s worth beating conservatives in fights, because even though conservatives won’t know that you’ve won the fight — they are poorly acquainted with reality — other liberals will enjoy your victory and admire you for it.”
shannon Says: June 30th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Just one more nail in the conservative coffin. In the light of W’s spiritual advisor being a meth head and homo, bad war deals with haliburton, a senseless war, not believing in evolution, the inability to pronounce nuclear, “global warming is a myth”, and countless other issues…….. Fox News reporter decided to compare the release of Paris Hilton to the 1944 liberation of Paris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How f’ing funny.So much for conservative patriotic news eh?
vrwc Says: July 4th, 2007 at 7:21 am
I think Sheryl spends too much with Al Gore AND too much time in the bathroom thinking about toilet paper. I understand the confusion and connection with Al and toilet paper though. I really do.
Voegelin Says: July 11th, 2007 at 3:20 am
When liberals like Sheryl Crowe expose themselves as the blithering idiots they are, the liberal hive always swarms to the rescue, stinging everything in sight.
nutslikebush Says: July 11th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
But you guys do know that the whole toilet paper thing was just her making a joke, don’t you? Or is your sense of humor so impaired that you didn’t register that?
shannon Says: July 11th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Wow what blindness you have towards your own corrupt party. Must be nice to look at through those rose colored glasses of yours!
WhyNotObama? Says: August 3rd, 2007 at 1:04 am
Can Anyone direct me to a good liberal blog??? Thi one is good becouse the liberals out number the Neo-Cons but I would like to read articals that are factualy interesting instead of mindless Talking point propaganda.
hucktunes Says: August 9th, 2007 at 8:58 am
The Sheryl Crow post is hilarious. Have you ever tried the recycled toilet paper? I bought a roll at the Co-op once, took it home and discovered that it’s brown!
Nelson Guirado Says: August 10th, 2007 at 2:21 am
You can go to my blog.
http://www.nelsonguirado.com
It’s not liberal, but its not left nut hateful either.
nutslikebush Says: August 10th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
try dancarlin.com
it isn’t liberal, or conservative, just smart discussion. They don’t demonize any group. I wish this style would catch on with talk show jocks rather than the over-the-top nonsense and misinformation perpetuated by the wind bags on the radio.