BACON EXPLOSION: THE PERFECT ANTI-LIBERAL FOOD
I first saw the Bacon Explosion on Fox & Friends Super Bowl weekend coverage. Since then I’ve seen it on TV, websites and gotten emails from friends talking about it. If you haven’t heard about it yet, here is the Bacon Explosion primer.
First you take bunch of bacon, about two to four packs and “weave’ it into a rectangle. 
Next you add some spices. It doesn’t really matter what because you’re probably going to die of a heart attack when you eat this thing so put on whatever you like. Then you take a couple of pounds or more of Italian sausage and spread it out so it covers the bacon weave you created. 
Next you take whatever bacon you have left and fry it up. Make sure it’s enough to cover the gigantic Italian sausage patty you just made. Then you drop that on top of the Italian sausage.
Now you pour on some Bar-B-Que sauce, roll up the sausage part, then roll that up in the bacon weave part and drop it on the grill. 
When it’s ready you’ve got your self a bacon explosion. 
Now this lovely dish is the perfect anti-liberal food. Just take a gander at its anti-liberal pedigree.
1. Its bad for you so it contributes to the rising cost of health care.
2. PETA hates it
3. It’s obviously the result of a conspiracy between the National Pork Producers Council and the big drug companies that make heart pills.
4. You can’t blame McDonald’s or Wal-Mart for this one…this is homemade.
5. It’s name, Bacon Explosion, evokes war and destruction. ( I wonder if the DOD could use this in the war on terror)
6. Its highly offensive to muslims and vegitarians and since its a perfect tailgating food, its offensive to people who think the Washington Redskins should change their name because it insults Native Americans.
7. It has hundreds of fat grams and no warning lable.
8. It’s got a phallic shape which is sure honk off all the feminists, all though its possible that Oprah has one of these in her night stand.
9. Its an American invention, which probably pisses off the rest of the world.
10. And finally, it got national attention through the Fox News Network.
So please, all conservatives….you have to make one of these bad boys at least once. Take it to work and feed it to your liberal friends or just cook one up at home, dig in and then sit back, relax and listen to the sound of arteries shutting down.
Change has finally come….thank you Bacon Explosion. Thank youl
Kaiser Says: February 6th, 2009 at 12:24 am
Best… food…. ever….
Zack Says: February 11th, 2009 at 2:36 am
Anti-liberal? But, but, but IT’S PURE PORK!
ahhtist Says: February 16th, 2009 at 9:59 am
I’m think it great! For you that is. I mean its a bunch of pork to stimulate and nourish you, and it feeds the economy in these troubled times.
The phallic shape will be easy for feminists to dice up and eat ritually as they giggle about cheating on their vegetarianism.
Everyone will worship the meat and then go have a homosexual, well I don’t need to go there!
Its like liberals are vampires, and sort of laugh at the garlic necklace.
By the way, if you have been experiencing forclosure, layoffs, lack of health care, don’t worry! People are still able to spend a wad on some frakenfood and tell you all about it! They are not trying to wittle down your stimulus bill even though most of them already supported a war in Iraq, they are just trying to chase you away, taunt you, and feed their face. Stop all yo hatin you liberals!
Kaiser Says: March 14th, 2009 at 12:17 am
“By the way, if you have been experiencing forclosure, layoffs, lack of health care, don’t worry! People are still able to spend a wad on some frankenfood and tell you all about it! They are not trying to wittle down your stimulus bill even though most of them already supported a war in Iraq, they are just trying to chase you away, taunt you, and feed their face”?
Umm. I think you’re being sarcastic. Sorry, it’s hard to tell across cyberspace.
Some stimulus bill. It’s got 50x more pork than the bacon explosion. Why wouldn’t we want to whittle it down? Only 1/3 of it actually goes to stimulating the economy, the rest is fat!
“supported the war in iraq”. Yes, yes we did, and I stand by it. Next.
“forclosure, layoffs, lack of health care”? None of which are our fault. Really, at all.
-forclosure: don’t buy houses you can’t pay for; banks, don’t make loans to people who can’t pay. pretty simple.
-layoffs: okay, maybe. moving on.
-lack of health care: health care is not a right! You can’t just walk in to a clinic and expect to be treated. That money comes from somewhere, and that somewhere is everyone else’s wallet. The problem with the system is better off people have to pay MORE so the less affluent people can enjoy the SAME benefits as people who deserve them. If you want to help poor people, donate to Red Cross or Salvation Army or Goodwill.
=] Says: April 14th, 2009 at 6:12 am
mmmmm greasy, disgusting and stupid. Just like the majority of conservatives. =]
-Your Liberal Friend JJ
J. Clay Says: May 21st, 2009 at 12:04 am
Rush must be eating a lot of this stuff because he’s clearly unhealthy, sloppy, and grossly overweight!
Kaiser Says: May 21st, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Whoa whoa whoa. Name-calling! Uncalled for.
Getting a bit elitist with our food, aren’t we?
As for Rush, do you actually have his medical reports? You don’t know he’s “unhealthy, sloppy, grossly overweight”. There are plenty of reasons for his physical condition that don’t necessarily amount to him being “greasy” or disgusting. My father, at first glance, would seem to be large and even obese. But as his medical file shows, he is in fact in very good condition. He has low blood pressure, low cholesterol, works out every weekend, and merely has a pot belly from enjoying good food. How do you know that isn’t the case with Rush? Some people are naturally larger because they are born with more fat cells. Some people are thin no matter how much crap they eat.
It’s a little hasty for you to chalk this all up to “Oh, he’s just a lazy fatso, that’s why you should hate Rush Limbaugh”. Eh… it leaves a lot to be desired.
Flips off cute babies Says: August 8th, 2009 at 1:59 am
Great article! I’ll consider cooking this up. You should really take advantage of the spellcheck feature. It would really piss off liberals if you appeared more intelligent.
Alex Says: August 25th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
So good! I’ll try it
Kaiser Says: August 26th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
My dad smoked up a batch, so I’ll finally get to try one!
Kate Says: September 18th, 2009 at 4:39 am
Alas. I am a total socialized-medicine advocating, feminism-espousing, environmentalist liberal of the bluest (pinkoest) blue.
I’d totally serve one of these at a BBQ. With pleasure. To go with my (fairtrade) chocotlate-dipped bacon rolled in pecans dessert.
I think you’ve invented a bi-partisan bacon-sausage-roll.
LB Says: November 17th, 2009 at 8:46 am
Anti-liberal food? Wow, you conservatives are a lot dumber than I had realized. I blame it on all the inbreeding…