Category Archives: Jokes

Okay, so these two liberals walk into a bar….

IF IT LOOKS WALKS LIKE PORK AND TALKS LIKE PORK….

  By Buck | 2/10/2009 - 3:08 pm | ,
Leave a comment

OBAMA DESCRIBING A FARM ANIMAL WOULD GO SOMETHING LIKE THIS. “WELL IT LIVES IN A DIRTY PEN, WALLOWING IN THE MUD. IT WILL EAT ANY KIND OF SLOP AND DOESN’T REQUIRE A LOT OF CARE. ONCE YOU SLAUGHTER THIS ANIMAL YOU CAN CUT ITS MEAT INTO STRIPS WHICH IS GREAT FOR BREAKFAST, YOU CAN GRIND IT UP AND MAKE PATTIES OUT OF IT AND THE LOIN MEAT IS GREAT FOR GRILLING….WE CALL THIS ANIMAL A STIMULUS!

THE DEMOCRAT IN THE BALLOON

  By Buck | 9/25/2008 - 4:23 pm |
65 Comments

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude
and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, ‘Excuse me, can you
help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know
where I am.’
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, ‘You’re in a hot air
balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above
sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100
degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.’
She rolled her eyes and said, ‘You must be a Republican.’
‘I am,’ replied the man. ‘How did you know?’
‘Well,’ answered the balloonist, ‘everything you told me is technically
correct , but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still
lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.’
The man smiled and responded, ‘You must be a Democrat.’
‘I am,’ replied the balloonist. ‘How did you know?’
‘Well,’ said the man, ‘you don’t know where you are or where you are going.
You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made
a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your
problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but,
somehow, now it’s my fault.’

THREE THINGS TO PONDOR

  By Buck | 7/25/2008 - 4:52 pm |
96 Comments

THREE THINGS TO PONDER

1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

(more…)